real story;
string sender;
sender = "César Rodrigues";
Boss: The client said the system is broken and it's not working. He said it does nothing.
Programmer: What was he trying to do? Was he registering new customers?
Boss: No.
Programmer: Was it that invoice issue again?
Boss: No. He said he only opened the system and nothing happened.
Programmer: Which button did he press?
Boss: He said none.
Programmer: Let me see: He wasn't registering anyone, neither querying or printing anything. He didn't press any button and the system didn't do anything??
Boss: Yes! That's what he said!
--
T-shirt: It's magic

Programmer: Alonso, where's the "Save" button on the form?
Alonso: I took off...
Programmer: What??? And how will it save the information?
Alonso: The user only needs to type down, R, up, L, Y, B
Programmer: Are you crazy??
Alonso: No... I was reading about easter eggs so I put one in the system...
Programmer: FACEPALM!

real story;
string sender;
sender = "Alezio Wanderley";
Manager: We need to hurry up the development in two days. Is it possible to deliver the system tomorrow?
Programmer: No way. It's too much for short time... I can deliver it on the appointed day...
Manager (whispering): Ok, tell me What do you need to deliver it tomorrow, then I can get it to you...
Programmer: I need two more days...
--
T-shirt: Stack overflow

string sender;
sender = "Nairon";
Boss: From today you'll be solo at the project, because our customer only have funds to one man/hour
Programmer: So, the deadline will be changed?
Boss: No, it will remain the same. The customer don't wants postponements
Programmer: But to do it on the same time only if I work the twice!
Boss: Great suggestion! You can do this. I will tell the customer about your initiative!
--
T-shirt: I ? my boss

real story;
string sender;
sender = "@adriells";
Nephew: How can I convert that string to uppercase?
Programmer: Did you try to google it?
Nephew: No... I'll try!
Nephew: It didn't work!
Code on screen: google($str);
Programmer: FACEPALM!
--
T-shirt: FATAL ERROR

real story;
string sender;
sender = "Adriano Dias";
Alonso: Dude, the files I uploaded to server aren't working yet...
Programmer: Are you sure you have uploaded all needed files from your computer?
Alonso: It's not working on my machine too...
Programmer: FACEPALM!

real story;
string sender;
sender = "Paulo J.";
Boss: Our system has an extreme security flaw and I need you to fix it immediately!
Programmer: What is happening?
Boss: An acquaintance of mine accessed our system without permission
Programmer: Do you imagine how he did it?
Boss: No, he had never accessed since I told him my user and password...
--
T-shirt: Working for a genius

real story;
string sender;
sender = "Flávio S. Pires";
Programmer: Where do I inform this increase value from invoice to the user's report?
Boss: No, you don't. Just decrease this value from total value, then it's Ok.
Programmer: But decrease it from invoice wouldn't be slush fund??
Boss: What are you?? FBI Agent?? IRS auditor??
--
T-shirt: umask 007

real story;
string sender;
sender = "Gramathur";
Designer: Man, I got a new job to us. The client wants it in two months. I'll draw the layout and you do the programming
Programmer: ok
(Three weeks later...)
Programmer: Dude, where's the layout? I need it now...
Designer: ok. I just sent it to your email...
Designer (at phone): Hi! Jerry? I just sent the layout to the programmer. So, tomorrow your site will be online!
--
T-shirt: 404

Thor: My hammer is magical, but what about your shield?
Captain: I implemented a callback function!