(Sometime in the future...)
Guy: Cool... At your age you sir keep working, dedicated... What is the secret to be with that age with that vitality?
Gray-haired Programmer: Well, I've been living always without sleep, programming all night, without a social life, drinking coffee and energy drinks all my life... Always at computer...
Guy: Wow! And how old are you?
Programmer: 30.
--
T-shirt: MSX

real story;
string sender;
sender = "Beto Raposa";
Boss: I don't understand all that code on your screen. It's greek to me. I need you always explain to me all you're doing... So I will know you're not working on something out from our projects...
Programmer: Ok. I'm implementing a class to manage the...
Boss: No, no... I don't need too much details... Just say you're working on our project always you're working on it.
--
T-shirt: My boss is a zombie

real story;
string sender;
sender = "Paiva";
Boss: So you will work online on those projects. The server is already in the cloud...
(Alonso looking up to the clouds)
--
T-shirt: Jean cloud van damme

real story;
string sender;
sender = "João Gabriel";
User: The poll you created for our site has kind of a weird behavior...
Programmer: How weird? Because it's already approved...
User: Yes, but I just saw that every time I vote one option, it changes the percentage of all other options!
--
T-shirt: I see dead users

real story;
string sender;
sender = "walterfcarvalho";
Programmer: Hi, are you the IT manager? The database server is running Windows, right?
IT Manager: Yeah...
Programmer: I need to homologate. Tell me, the server is running Windows 2003 or 2008?
IT Manager: Sorry, I really don't know. In 2003 I wasn't working here...
--
T-shirt: c:\>

real story;
string sender;
sender = "Vinícius Michelan";
User: The report is completely outdated! It's displaying info from 2 years ago, from march 2013
Programmer: hmmm... The invoice you're using to generate this report is from april 2015?
User: No...
Programmer: What's the invoice date?
User: March 2013...
--
T-shirt: Press Alt+F4

A.P.: Geez! It says here that excessive coffee drinking increase the risk of eye damage... Did you see it?
Programmer: No... I saw nothing... (Holding a walking stick and wearing sunglasses)
T-shirt: .:..::.:..::.:.

real story;
string sender;
sender = "Alexandre Torres";
Boss: Our projects are running late. I was wondering and realized how to improve our approach. From now, we won't work with deadlines, but with goals
Programmer: Goals? And what will be the goals?
Boss: The final dates to release the programs
Programmer: Ugh!

real story;
string sender;
sender = "Toddy";
Alonso: The system did not establish connection with database...
Programmer: Let me see the database connection config file.
Alonso: Oh, I deleted that file and I saved the info inside the database to increase security...
Programmer: FACEPALM!
--
T-shirt: 17:59