real story;
string sender;
sender = "Dumatus";
Boss: The user must to be logged in to download, so when they click on download button the system must show the login form.
Programmer: Ok.
(Some time later...)
Boss (by phone): Programmer, I'm here at customer's office. There's an error on download button...
Programmer: What error?
Boss: I'm clicking on it and the download starts without ask to log in
Programmer: Are you logged in?
Boss: Yes.
(Long silence followed by a phone thrown at the wall)
--
T-shirt: Send nulls

A.P.: Dude, what's going on today?? We never had so many problems and so many calls on tech support...
Programmer: Today is the National Coffee Day...
A.P.: So... ?
Programmer: So Jimmy gave coffee to Alonso, to celebrate the day...
A.P.: So... ?
Programmer: So Alonso got fast! He never did so much mess so fast...
--
T-shirt: Coffee day = date();

Friend: Dude, the sky was cloudy last night, i haven't seen the eclipse.
Programmer: I saw.
(Programmer sad face)
--
T-shirt: The eclipse lasted all night

real story;
string sender;
sender = "André Barreto";
Boss: I have a new project to you, guys... It's for a new customer
Programmer: Cool. What do they need?
Boss: I don't know yet. But you can start to code while I will go there to ask...
--
T-shirt: (Darth Vader) I am your coder

real story;
string sender;
sender = "Hyago Brendoll";
Friend: Dude, is it possible to recover some photos that I deleted from my USB stick?
Programmer: Yes, if you didn't overwrite them yet...
Friend: What??
Programmer: Did you copy anything to the stick after that?
Friend: No.
Programmer: So I can recover them
Friend: Man! This is awesome!! So you're telling me if I have a 8Gb USB stick, delete everything, then fill it again, I'll have 16Gb!!
Programmer (whispering): Thou shalt not kill. Thou shalt not kill.
--
T-shirt: Go home, you're drunk!

Boss: The customer asked if we have a list of sites to block at work...
Programmer: Oh, yes. Wait a minute...
Programmer: Alonso, please, just send me your browsing history...

real story;
string sender;
sender = "Silva";
Boss: At the board of directors we decided to redistribute the tasks to improve the process... From now on, Alonso will be exclusively on System A, A.P. on System B and the other systems will be distributed among the other programmers...
Prorgammer: I am "the other programmers"...
Boss: Damn! Bad luck!
--
T-shirt: You could hire some minions to help

Have you ever realized that the Cars movie is set in the future when driverless cars have already eliminated all the human beings?

real story;
string sender;
sender = "Victor G.";
User: Since you updated the system my computer is writing everything on capital letters!
Programmer: Tell me, is there a little light turned on at your keyboard written "caps Lock" or an "A"?
User: Yes!
Programmer: So press "Caps Lock" key at the left border of your keyboard...
User: It works!! When did you install this key here?
(Programmer's glass crashes)
--
T-shirt: I'm not the support guy