real story;
string sender;
sender = "Claudio Ramone";
Boss: I need the new report for today urgently!
Programmer: ok
(Later)
Programmer (to Alex): Weird... Look this: Clothes $2,000.00, shoes $500.00... I wonder who would be that customer...
(Later...)
Boss (at phone): Honey, I'm looking your credit card bill and it's too high this month, sweetheart...
--
T-shirt: If only Anakin had not fallen in love...

real story;
string sender;
sender = "Linston Benatti";
Programmer: Boss, you gave me those two analysis to do today, but I only have time to do one. Which one has higher priority?
Boss: Both
Programmer: You didn't get it. I can only do one of them today. Which one is more important?
Boss: Both. Mix them, combine them, and turn both in one, so you can do both!
--
T-shirt: 1. Do not injury a human

(1985...)
Doc. Brown: Marty! You've gotta come back with me to the future. It's your kids, Marty.
Marty: Wait, my kids?? Are you saying they will join on a heavy gang, then they will vandalize the city and get arrested?
Doc. Brown: Even worse... They will become programmers!
Marty: This is heavy, Doc!

string sender;
sender = "Duda Nogueira";
Programmer: Come on, stop that crap that Java is slow...
Programmer: Wait, I'll show you my code to prove that Java is not slow. You'll see it...
Programmer: Wait, the IDE is starting...
Programmer: Just a moment... It's almost done...
Programmer: Just a little bit... You'll see how fast it is...
Alex: zzzzzzzz
--
T-shirt: Just wait and get a coffee

real story;
string sender;
sender = "Diego Hellas";
Programmer: After log in, type: set password = password('newpass');
Programmer: Did it work?
Alonso: Yeah... But now my password is "newpass"... How can I change it?
Programmer: PLOP!
--
T-shirt: Your new password is: Arnold Schwarzenegger

real story;
string sender;
sender = "Ricardo Kajihara";
Alex: Dude, are you ready?
Programmer: For what?
Alex: I'm forwarding you an user message...
The message:
Subject: Hard to understand the images.
Good afternoon,
The validation images are in very low graphics quality, we're experiencing some difficulty to identify the letters.
(Below the user sent a captcha image)
--
T-shirt: If I had a heart I'd be hypertensive

real story;
string sender;
sender = "Dumatus";
Boss: The user must to be logged in to download, so when they click on download button the system must show the login form.
Programmer: Ok.
(Some time later...)
Boss (by phone): Programmer, I'm here at customer's office. There's an error on download button...
Programmer: What error?
Boss: I'm clicking on it and the download starts without ask to log in
Programmer: Are you logged in?
Boss: Yes.
(Long silence followed by a phone thrown at the wall)
--
T-shirt: Send nulls

A.P.: Dude, what's going on today?? We never had so many problems and so many calls on tech support...
Programmer: Today is the National Coffee Day...
A.P.: So... ?
Programmer: So Jimmy gave coffee to Alonso, to celebrate the day...
A.P.: So... ?
Programmer: So Alonso got fast! He never did so much mess so fast...
--
T-shirt: Coffee day = date();

Friend: Dude, the sky was cloudy last night, i haven't seen the eclipse.
Programmer: I saw.
(Programmer sad face)
--
T-shirt: The eclipse lasted all night

real story;
string sender;
sender = "André Barreto";
Boss: I have a new project to you, guys... It's for a new customer
Programmer: Cool. What do they need?
Boss: I don't know yet. But you can start to code while I will go there to ask...
--
T-shirt: (Darth Vader) I am your coder