real story;
string sender = "@tieresbronzatto";
Boss: How is it going the project B?
Programmer: I'm already finishing it...
Boss: And the project A?
Programmer: It's paused... You asked to prioritize the project B
Boss: I asked to prioritize the project b, but I never took off the priority from project A!
--
T-shirt: sudo kill -9 logic

real story;
string sender = "Carlos Ferrari";
User: I need a new field in the report...
Programmer: Okay. No problem.
(Later...)
User: Listen, this is the report from last month and it doesn't have the field that I asked for...
Programmer (turning around): Doc. Brown, I need a ride...
(Doc. Brown smiles)
--
T-shirt: time()

real story;
string sender = "Fernando Rodrigo Cardoso";
Boss: The report is inconsistent, you'll have to rewrite it.
Programmer: What's going on?
Boss: When I ask a report without any filter, it shows all records. But if I set a filter, it shows only part of the records...
--
T-shirt: Shift + Del

real story;
string sender = "Thamyres Santos";
Boyfriend: Honey, what are you doing?
Programmer lady: Programming...
Boyfriend: How?
Programmer: Well, I'm using a programming language called C# and... <a little explanation of c# for dummies>...
Boyfriend: Oh, nevermind! It's giving me a headache...
--
T-shirt: Debian Women logo

real story;
string sender = "jopss";
Programmer (at phone): Hi, are you the system analyst at your company?
Analyst: Yes, I am.
Programmer: Okay. We need a copy from your database to perform unitary tests using your actual load
Analyst: I'll send it...
Analyst: Did you receive it?
(Attachment: database.pdf)
Programmer: PLOP!
--
T-shirt: Not even listening

real story;
string sender = "Daniel Chaves";
(It happened on a Programmer's Day)
Friend: Hey, happy Programmer's Day!
Programmer: Thanks! You too!
Friend: What?? No, no way!! God! I'm not a programmer! No, God forbid!
Programmer: PLOP!
--
T-shirt: One day I'll laugh...

real story;
string sender = "Carlos Anderson";
(A job interview)
HR: To this job opportunity, you must have high skills on Visual Basic. Do you have?
Programmer: Yes...
HR: So, answer me... If this visual Basic stop working, do you consider yourself able to fix it?
--
T-shirt: It's my life

real story;
string sender = "Ricardo @Galfurion Junqueira";
User: The subscription form you created is not working. Your programming thing is all wrong!
Programmer: But I tested the form and it's working. Also I said it's going correctly to your email! What is wrong?
User: I don't want that! I want a link to download the form in pdf, to print it, to fill it and send it to me by fax. The online form is only to the user inform that he already sent it
--
T-shirt: Why do simplify?

real story;
string sender = "@gtmeira";
Wife: Honey, What are you doing?
Programmer: Programming...
Wife: But why do you keep changing the colors of the letters?
--
T-shirt: Pacman

string sender = "Joseph Kreifels II";
Boss: You have to finish this project in 2 weeks
Programmer: But we need 6 weeks
Boss: No way. The customer needs it in 2 weeks
Programmer: No. We will deliver it in 6 weeks (doing the jedi gesture)
(Later)
Alex: You had a Star Wars marathon again, right?
Programmer: Do. Or do not. There is no try.
--
T-shirt: Jedi Master