string sender = "@diego_rsilva";
Wife: Honey, did you search in the internet that thing I asked you earlier today?
Programmer: No, sorry, I had no time. I had a lot of things to do...
Wife: A lot of things? But you spent all day in front of the computer...
--
T-shirt: Lambda calculus

real story;
string sender = "william";
Boss: The customer called and told that the feature "X" stop working, and yesterday it was working well. Check the server and the databases and blah blah blah...
(later...)
Programmer: I checked and it's really not working. And it's the same on every server, even on our test version. Are you sure that it was working yesterday?
Boss: I don't know.
Programmer: PLOP!
--
T-shirt: Never believe the user

real story;
string sender = "Fabrício Olmo Aride";
Programmer: Alonso, you need to optimize that procedure. It takes too long to execute...
Alonso: Okay...
(30 min later...)
Alonso: I did it...
Programmer: Oh, let me see... Geez! How fast! How did you do it?
Alonso: I just commented 3 updates and it got fast...
Programmer: PLOP!
--
T-shirt: Fast & Fatal

real story;
string sender = "von_e";
Boss: So, I already scheduled with the client the installation for tomorrow...
(Programmer chokes with coffee)
Programmer: Tomorrow??? What? How? Why? Nobody told us! No email, no call, nothing! It has to be clear to us at development before...
Boss: Well, it's quite clear on my head. If it's unclear to you...
Programmer: PLOP!
--
T-shirt: As clear as a Vogon

real story;
string sender = "Eduardo";
Alonso: Ready! I finished the integration table from user's database to our database...
(Later...)
Programmer: Alonso, why didn't you store our database ID in the integration table?
Alonso: Well, no one told me the user wants that thing...
Programmer: PLOP!
--
T-shirt: AlonSQL Error

Hallowindows!
This program has performed an illegal operation and will be shut down.
(Jason's mask, with BSOD)

real story;
string sender = "Daniel";
Boss: Our site is very slow, could you check what is happening?
Programmer: The internet is down, boss...
Boss: Hmmm... It could be that, right?
Programmer: PLOP!
--
T-shirt: Could be

real story;
string sender = "Rômulo Nóbrega";
(Presentation...)
User: So, the system crashes when I click on that button
Programmer: Okay, I'll see it later on your machine
User: No, as it is already open, click there...
Programmer: It's only an image, not the real system
User: Come on, do you have any problem on clicking it in front of me? Click there and I'll show it to you now!
--
T-shirt: I quit!

Programmer: So... Did you go out with gisele?
Alex: We broke up... She thought I was lying to her...
Programmer: Were you?
Alex: No... We went to my home, so now she thinks I have a son and didn't told her... She said that only if I have a child I would have so many "eletronic toys"...
Programmer: Sad...
--
T-shirt: I <3 gadgets