real story;
string sender = "jopss";
Programmer (at phone): Hi, are you the system analyst at your company?
Analyst: Yes, I am.
Programmer: Okay. We need a copy from your database to perform unitary tests using your actual load
Analyst: I'll send it...
Analyst: Did you receive it?
(Attachment: database.pdf)
Programmer: PLOP!
--
T-shirt: Not even listening

real story;
string sender = "Daniel Chaves";
(It happened on a Programmer's Day)
Friend: Hey, happy Programmer's Day!
Programmer: Thanks! You too!
Friend: What?? No, no way!! God! I'm not a programmer! No, God forbid!
Programmer: PLOP!
--
T-shirt: One day I'll laugh...

real story;
string sender = "Carlos Anderson";
(A job interview)
HR: To this job opportunity, you must have high skills on Visual Basic. Do you have?
Programmer: Yes...
HR: So, answer me... If this visual Basic stop working, do you consider yourself able to fix it?
--
T-shirt: It's my life

real story;
string sender = "Ricardo @Galfurion Junqueira";
User: The subscription form you created is not working. Your programming thing is all wrong!
Programmer: But I tested the form and it's working. Also I said it's going correctly to your email! What is wrong?
User: I don't want that! I want a link to download the form in pdf, to print it, to fill it and send it to me by fax. The online form is only to the user inform that he already sent it
--
T-shirt: Why do simplify?

real story;
string sender = "@gtmeira";
Wife: Honey, What are you doing?
Programmer: Programming...
Wife: But why do you keep changing the colors of the letters?
--
T-shirt: Pacman

string sender = "Joseph Kreifels II";
Boss: You have to finish this project in 2 weeks
Programmer: But we need 6 weeks
Boss: No way. The customer needs it in 2 weeks
Programmer: No. We will deliver it in 6 weeks (doing the jedi gesture)
(Later)
Alex: You had a Star Wars marathon again, right?
Programmer: Do. Or do not. There is no try.
--
T-shirt: Jedi Master

real story;
string sender = "Joseph Kreifels II";
User: Hi, can you help us?
Programmer: What seems to be the problem?
User: We're getting an Error ever since you made changes to our database.
Programmer: What does the error say?
User: It's saying "CSV Exported Successfully"
Programmer: PLOP!
--
T-shirt: Read error

string sender = "Reinaldo Fiorentini";
User: Listen: Your system is not working... It's blah blah blah... I'm a lawyer and I blah blah blah...
Programmer: Ok. Are you using firefox, as requested?
User: Yes, I am.
Programmer: Ok. And what's the error message?
User: "Internet Explorer cannot display the webpage"
Programmer: PLOP!
--
T-shirt: I said Browser, not Bowser

string sender = "Reinaldo Fiorentini";
Alonso: Dude, help me to find the error on that query
Programmer: Why don't you indent your code?? Indent it to ease the understanding...
Alonso: But if I break that line, will I have to use "upper join" instead of "left join"?
Programmer: FACEPALM!
--
T-shirt: Scroll lock

real story;
string sender = "FBastos";
User: How much do you charge to develop a website?
Programmer: Well, it depends... What kind of website do you want?
User: Nothing so big, but nothing so simple... So, how much?
--
T-shirt: True... or false