real story;
string sender = "Joseph Kreifels II";
User: Hi, can you help us?
Programmer: What seems to be the problem?
User: We're getting an Error ever since you made changes to our database.
Programmer: What does the error say?
User: It's saying "CSV Exported Successfully"
Programmer: PLOP!
--
T-shirt: Read error

string sender = "Reinaldo Fiorentini";
User: Listen: Your system is not working... It's blah blah blah... I'm a lawyer and I blah blah blah...
Programmer: Ok. Are you using firefox, as requested?
User: Yes, I am.
Programmer: Ok. And what's the error message?
User: "Internet Explorer cannot display the webpage"
Programmer: PLOP!
--
T-shirt: I said Browser, not Bowser

string sender = "Reinaldo Fiorentini";
Alonso: Dude, help me to find the error on that query
Programmer: Why don't you indent your code?? Indent it to ease the understanding...
Alonso: But if I break that line, will I have to use "upper join" instead of "left join"?
Programmer: FACEPALM!
--
T-shirt: Scroll lock

real story;
string sender = "FBastos";
User: How much do you charge to develop a website?
Programmer: Well, it depends... What kind of website do you want?
User: Nothing so big, but nothing so simple... So, how much?
--
T-shirt: True... or false

real story;
string sender = "Marcelo Alexandre";
User: The system is perfect, but it needs just one more thing
Programmer: What?
User: Only a little button at the bottom
Programmer: Ok. A little button is easy...
User: Great... So when the user clicks on this button, he may upload his videos, also may see the videos of all other users, and he may like or dislike, everything like youtube does...
(Programmer chokes with coffee)
--
T-shirt: Anything else?

real story;
string sender = "@notsodeep";
Boss: Finally, after 8 months of development, the system is what we expected. Now I need you to turn it accessible online
Programmer: What?? But it wasn't designed this way. It was built to run only on desktop!
Boss: Ok. So you only have to recompile it as a website...
--
T-shirt: Coffee never lies

real story;
string sender = "Canez";
Boss: Do you have an estimate of when will you finish the project?
Programmer: I'll finish it till the end of next week
Boss: Ok, so pause this project and work on another project that is more urgent. So, when you finish that, you come back to the first and finish it till the end of next week
--
T-shirt: Ok, I'll finish it yesterday

real story;
string sender = "Canez";
Programmer: No, I can't work tuesday night...
Boss: Why can't you?
Programmer: I have postgraduate classes on tuesday
Boss: Are you taking postgraduate classes?
Boss: Didn't you know that this is a hard time on our company? You can't study now!
--
T-shirt: (A flux capacitor image)

real story;
string sender = "Edigley Dias da Silva";
User: I need a new system...
Programmer: Ok. Tell me what do you want and I'll estimate the costs
User: Well... Do you know... Our company has no money to pay now...
Programmer: Great! I also have no time... So I don't write a software to you and it's alright!
--
T-shirt: Will code for food

real story;
string sender = "Rui Santos";
Boss: How much time do you need to deliver that system?
Programmer: At least 4 months
Boss: I need you do it in 2...
Programmer: Great! So you already know that it will be 2 months delayed...
--
T-shirt: I <3 CODE