string sender;
sender = "@osuissa";
Nephew: Man, I'm writing my CV to apply for a job... Could you help me?
Programmer: Okay... What did you write?
Nephew: I know about computers, I know typing, read emails, frontpage...
Programmer: Do you know sql?
Nephew: No...
Programmer: So you can write: "NoSQL Specialist"
Nephew: Cool...
--
T-shirt: Trollface

real story;
string sender;
sender = "Raphael Matori";
Boss: I need to show the site to our client. How are its progress?
Programmer: It's 70% done... I'll up it to the server so you can see it...
(A few later...)
Boss: There's a button which is not working...
--
T-shirt: Don't panic

real story;
string sender;
sender = "Francisco Aghetti Luchese";
User: The system is not working... The validation says that the discounts are wrong...
Programmer: You have to change the discounts method from products amount to invoice total...
(A few later...)
User: The system is not working... The validation says that the discounts are wrong...
Programmer: Did you perform that change I told you?
User: Not yet...
(Another phone in the wall...)
--
T-shirt: Order a pizza instead of calling me

real story;
string sender;
sender = "afonso";
Friend: You're a programmer, right?
Programmer: Yeah. Why?
Friend: I need to program a network, could you help me?
Programmer: Did you mean, to setup a router?
Friend: No... I need to program my Internet to stop to falling out...
--
T-shirt: I don't always perform miracles

real story;
string sender;
sender = "Flavio Araujo";
Nephew: I wrote this code, but it's not working...
Programmer: Let me see...
Programmer: Okay, comment these first two lines...
Nephew: Well, on the first line I declare the variables... Then on the second...
Programmer: FACEPALM!
--
T-shirt: Hack'n'troll

real story;
string sender;
sender = "Suellen Colangelo";
Programmer: Dude, did you do something with the customers' databases?
Alonso: Oh, yeah... I found a nice program to manage and compare databases...
Programmer: And... ?
Alonso: And I realized that the sequences were each one on different numbers...
Programmer: And... ?
Alonso: And so I dropped the sequences...
Programmer: FACEPALM!
--
T-shirt: It's not a bug, it's a feature

real story;
string sender;
sender = "werter";
Programmer: Tell me something: I got this use case... They want it implemented using ajax or in a simple post request?
Manager: Shhh... You'll have to ask it to somebody else... I don't understand about these I.T. things... I'm here just as a kludge...
--
T-shirt: I/O ERROR

real story;
string sender;
sender = "Antonio Mochi";
Boss: Please, send that text by email to all employees of our company
Programmer: The mail server is temporarily down...
Boss: Oh, really? So send a mail to everyone announcing that the mail server is down
--
T-shirt: Use the source, Luke

real story;
string sender;
sender = "Matori";
Boss: Change it to blue. Blue is better.
Programmer: Blue doesn't fit with the logo. It will let all heavy
Boss: Trust me, it will be better
Programmer: Okay...
Boss: No... Undo it... Blue is too heavy...
--
T-shirt: I will code for food

real story;
string sender;
sender = "Thiago Elias Rezende";
User: I filled out all fields, then I clicked on "save", but it's now a blank screen
Programmer: Okay. But there is no error message?
User: Wait, I'll see it...
(2 minutes later...)
User: I'm back.
Programmer: So, what's the error message?
User: "You have successfully registered!"
Programmer: PLOP!
--
T-shirt: #FACEPALM