real story;
string sender;
sender = "Rodrigo Ottero";
(1998...)
Boss: What are you arguing about?
Programmer: If we should use Visual C++ or Java on the new project
Boss: What are the pros and cons of each one?
Programmer: Well...
(Half hour later...)
Boss: So, it's obvious... Use both languages to write the system...
--
T-shirt: (Mario picture)

real story;
string sender;
sender = "Renan";
User: Hi, have you finished those changes we asked for?
Programmer: Yes, they're ready, just waiting for homologation
User: But I need it now! It's urgent! Send it right now! It's working, isn't? Why does it need homologation?
Programmer: You're right, I'm sending it...
User: And the homologation?
Programmer: Oh, bullshit! We're usually right on the first try...
--
T-shirt: No test, no fear

real story;
string sender;
sender = "andremt";
Programmer: Geeeeezzzz!! Look this comment on code...
A.P.: Wait...
Comment: /* No need to change the code below, unless it's needed */
A.P.: Well... At least the logic sentence is correct...
--
T-shirt: Share your heart between /* and */

Boss: I will explain the requirements and I need your full attention. Please, put your phone on flight mode to avoid interferences...
Programmer: ok...
(Programmer turns phone on flight mode and it flies)
--
T-shirt: If Woody Had Gone Right to the Police...

real story;
string sender;
sender = "Breno Alencar";
User: There's an error in your system!
Programmer: What's the error?
User: I don't understand it...
Programmer: Okay... Take a screenshot and send it on my email
User: How can I do it?
Programmer: There's anyone working with technical support in your company?
User: Yes... It's me!
--
T-shirt: (Pacman face)

string sender;
sender = "@osuissa";
Nephew: Man, I'm writing my CV to apply for a job... Could you help me?
Programmer: Okay... What did you write?
Nephew: I know about computers, I know typing, read emails, frontpage...
Programmer: Do you know sql?
Nephew: No...
Programmer: So you can write: "NoSQL Specialist"
Nephew: Cool...
--
T-shirt: Trollface

real story;
string sender;
sender = "Raphael Matori";
Boss: I need to show the site to our client. How are its progress?
Programmer: It's 70% done... I'll up it to the server so you can see it...
(A few later...)
Boss: There's a button which is not working...
--
T-shirt: Don't panic

real story;
string sender;
sender = "Francisco Aghetti Luchese";
User: The system is not working... The validation says that the discounts are wrong...
Programmer: You have to change the discounts method from products amount to invoice total...
(A few later...)
User: The system is not working... The validation says that the discounts are wrong...
Programmer: Did you perform that change I told you?
User: Not yet...
(Another phone in the wall...)
--
T-shirt: Order a pizza instead of calling me

real story;
string sender;
sender = "afonso";
Friend: You're a programmer, right?
Programmer: Yeah. Why?
Friend: I need to program a network, could you help me?
Programmer: Did you mean, to setup a router?
Friend: No... I need to program my Internet to stop to falling out...
--
T-shirt: I don't always perform miracles

real story;
string sender;
sender = "Flavio Araujo";
Nephew: I wrote this code, but it's not working...
Programmer: Let me see...
Programmer: Okay, comment these first two lines...
Nephew: Well, on the first line I declare the variables... Then on the second...
Programmer: FACEPALM!
--
T-shirt: Hack'n'troll