Dev: I think you're using too much ctrl+c ctrl+v
Jimmy: Why do you think that?
(Many Jimmy's at the room)
--
T-shirt: Extreme Ctrl+C Ctrl+V

Boss: Let's build a new system. How can we start it?
Alonso: Java! Let's write the classes and interfaces, then we connect them...
Jimmy: We could write the database. From the database we can decide what we will code...
Dev: Why don't we write first the documentation? We should write down the scenarios and the processes, so we will know better what will be on database and in the code...
(Dev is throwed out of the window)
--
T-shirt: Trust the docs

real story;
string sender = "Porungo";
Alonso: Man, I'm getting some weird errors from the system where I'm working... Could you help me find the reason?
Dev: Wait...
Dev: Weird, some variables are getting initialized with some fixed values...
Alonso: Oh, yeah. I inicialized them with some random values to avoid that "null pointer" error...
Dev: PLOP!
--
T-shirt: Null logic exception

real story;
string sender = "Bruno";
Colleague: Your app doesn't work...
Dev: Let me see... You're offline!
Colleague: Nobody told me that...
Dev: There is a warning on your screen...
Colleague: Uh, I thought that message was a mistake...
Dev: PLOP!
--
T-shirt: Read the error message!

real story;
string sender = "anonymous";
Boss: After the security update, some of the users are having issues to access. The system asks to click on every parking meter images, then they can't log in...
Dev: Some images are hard to identify, but they can click on reload button till it shows better images
Boss: That's not the problem. The Problem is that they doesn't know what a parking meter is!
Dev: PLOP!
--
T-shirt: Sorry, skynet, it was not me who put the captcha

(Job interview)
Interviewer: Well, you have a good CV, great technical skills, but, unfortunately, in your Linkedin Profile Picture you're holding a beer. It's very unprofessional and we can't hire you.
Dev: Oh, it's not beer. It's coffee!
(Interviewer looks the picture at laptop again)
Interviewer: Great! Is that what we expect from our devs! Coffee shows professionalism, dedication, focus and commitment with the deadlines... Congratulations, you're in!
(Dev smiles)
--
T-shirt: Coffee in, code out

real story;
string sender = "Robsão";
Colleague: Did you see it? That field doesn't allow letters, only numbers!
Dev: Yeah... It's a numeric field, that's expected
(After several minutes explaining the difference between numeric and text characters...)
Dev: Got it?
Colleague: Hmmm... Yes, but...
Colleague: Why does the text field allow numbers??
Dev: PLOP!
--
T-shirt: NaN

real story;
string sender = "DEV Anonimo e cansado";
(Boss passing by the development room and not understanding anything of the conversation)
(Boss in the meeting not understanding anything the devs say)
Boss: You talk only in codes! If everyone is talking in code, I will talk in code too! So, I need you to access the gitlab server
Dev: AWS...
Boss: then upload the deploy to the sprint
Dev: Docker...
--
T-shirt: Don't try

(The office of a fictional social network)
Boss: Since I bought this network, I started to charge to increase the reach, I changed the rules some times, I let hate speech happen and the network is still strong, up and running...
Dev: That's because it already has a well established name and brand...
Boss: Great! Let's change it too!
All devs: PLOP!
(A bird thrown by the window)
--
T-shirt: Oh, xeet!

real story;
string sender = "Fabrício Olmo Aride";
Alonso: Dude, I'm trying to print the page 2 from the report, but it doesn't work! I think the printer is broken!
Dev: Great, I "love" printers... Let me see it...
Dev: Oh, I found the bug!
Alonso: Wow, it was fast!
Dev: Yeah... That report has only one page!
Alonso: Hmmmm... Maybe it's why...
--
T-shirt: Printers are evil