real story;
string sender = "Anonymous";
Boss: Programmer, the client is furious!!! This last bug caused a huge loss for them!!!
Programmer: Oh my!
Boss: STOP EVERYTHING YOU’RE DOING AND FIND OUT WHO'S RESPONSIBLE!
Programmer: Wouldn’t it be better if I focused on finding the bug to fix it quickly??
Boss: NO! Finding the responsible party is our priority now!
(After discovering the responsible party)
Programmer: Enzo, look... The Boss is furious because the client had a huge loss due to the bug in the code you wrote! Explain what happened...
Enzo: No, I have no responsibility for this!
Programmer: What do you mean?? You wrote the code!
Enzo: No, I didn’t! The code was written by ChatGPT, so the responsibility isn’t mine!
Programmer: PLOP!
--
T-shirt: It was better in the days of Stack Overflow

real story;
string sender = "Luã Govinda";
Dev Woman: Boss, how are we going to improve the company's DevOps culture?
Boss: We're going to acquire tools for that...
A.P.: Okay, and how are we going to make the business teams understand that test coverage is part of the product?
Boss: We intend to acquire tools
Dev Man: And the tools we already have?
Boss: We're going to replace them with paid tools!
Dev Man: PLOP!
Dev Woman: PLOP!
A.P.: PLOP!
--
T-shirt: Chief Talking Officer

A.P. (via call): Dude, I saw your message that your phone was stolen and you're in the hospital... Are you okay?
Programmer: I'm fine! I'm at home...
Programmer: I wrote that just so I wouldn't have to work today... Did you see that Windows is getting blue screens everywhere??
A.P.: But you use Linux!!
Programmer: Exactly! I would be the only one working and I would still be called all the time to "fix" the crashed computers.
A.P.: Clever!
--
T-shirt: Team Kernel Panic

Dev: I think you're using too much ctrl+c ctrl+v
Jimmy: Why do you think that?
(Many Jimmy's at the room)
--
T-shirt: Extreme Ctrl+C Ctrl+V

Boss: Let's build a new system. How can we start it?
Alonso: Java! Let's write the classes and interfaces, then we connect them...
Jimmy: We could write the database. From the database we can decide what we will code...
Dev: Why don't we write first the documentation? We should write down the scenarios and the processes, so we will know better what will be on database and in the code...
(Dev is throwed out of the window)
--
T-shirt: Trust the docs

real story;
string sender = "Porungo";
Alonso: Man, I'm getting some weird errors from the system where I'm working... Could you help me find the reason?
Dev: Wait...
Dev: Weird, some variables are getting initialized with some fixed values...
Alonso: Oh, yeah. I inicialized them with some random values to avoid that "null pointer" error...
Dev: PLOP!
--
T-shirt: Null logic exception

real story;
string sender = "Bruno";
Colleague: Your app doesn't work...
Dev: Let me see... You're offline!
Colleague: Nobody told me that...
Dev: There is a warning on your screen...
Colleague: Uh, I thought that message was a mistake...
Dev: PLOP!
--
T-shirt: Read the error message!

real story;
string sender = "anonymous";
Boss: After the security update, some of the users are having issues to access. The system asks to click on every parking meter images, then they can't log in...
Dev: Some images are hard to identify, but they can click on reload button till it shows better images
Boss: That's not the problem. The Problem is that they doesn't know what a parking meter is!
Dev: PLOP!
--
T-shirt: Sorry, skynet, it was not me who put the captcha

(Job interview)
Interviewer: Well, you have a good CV, great technical skills, but, unfortunately, in your Linkedin Profile Picture you're holding a beer. It's very unprofessional and we can't hire you.
Dev: Oh, it's not beer. It's coffee!
(Interviewer looks the picture at laptop again)
Interviewer: Great! Is that what we expect from our devs! Coffee shows professionalism, dedication, focus and commitment with the deadlines... Congratulations, you're in!
(Dev smiles)
--
T-shirt: Coffee in, code out