Transcription ↓/* True story sent by bruno */ Boss: That form you made on site isn't working... Programmer: Wait a minute... I'll fix it... Programmer: And... It's done. Boss: Alright, I'll see it... Hours later... Boss: Weird... When you told me that it's done, that form wasn't working yet...(…) leia mais

Transcription ↓/* True story sent by Marcos Henrique */Boss: What are you doing?Programmer: Programming...Boss: Great! come here and help me move a cabinetProgrammer: There's no one else to help you?Boss: No, everyone else is working!Original: O que você está fazendo?

Transcription ↓/* True story sent by Uilson */ Boss: We need better equipment 2 days later... Boss: We have to modernize our equipment 1 month later... Boss: We can't go on with these equipment... 2 years later... Boss: We need better equipment... I've been saying it for the last two years... Get on it!(…) leia mais

Transcription ↓/* true story sent by Rafael Toscano */ Boss: Alonso, what are you doing? Alonso (on Facebook): It's compiling... 15 min later... Boss: And now, what are you doing Alonso (still on facebook): I just work on an interface, but now i'm compiling...(…) leia mais

Transcription ↓/* True stories sent by berdam, @PensamentoOgro and João Soares */ Manager: Could you get me a report about the items that aren’t in the system? Programmer: Ohhhhhhh God! – Boss: I think I’ve got a presentation on my laptop but I don’t know when I created it. I need you find it. I will present it this afternoon.(…) leia mais

Boss: Hey, I’m worried about this satellite thing… I need a program that will calculate where it will fall…Programmer: Ok. I can deliver it by Monday.Boss: But it will fall before Monday!Programmer: Exactly! The program will be 100% accurate!

Programmer (thinking): These columns need some color... Boss: Try to put some color on that table Programmer (thinking): What color should I... Boss: Blue. There's no blue yet... Programmer (thinking): It got too dark... I need to... Boss: It's dark. Use a softer blue Programmer: Calm down! I'm still testing...(…) leia mais

Programmer: I just finished the Star Labs management systemBoss: Hmmm… I think you could add some red thereProgrammer: I just finished the Democratic Republic of Libya websiteBoss: What about some red there?Programmer: I just finished the Greenpeace movement's management systemBoss: Put some red thereOriginal: Vermelho

Boss: From now on, you'll not use left or inner join anymore in database queriesProgrammer: But what about the performance and...Boss: It doesn't matter! only simple joins... 'cause I had to fix a bug when you weren't here and it's hard to understand when you use "left join"Original: LEFT JOIN