/* True story sent by Erisvaldo Carvalho */
Manager: What code is it that you're trying to fix?
Programmer: SQL...
Manager: Hmmm... Let me see it...
Manager: I wonder that the error is there on these -- (minus minus), because "minus minus" equals "plus"... It's a calculus fail

/* True story sent by Aloisio Almeida Jr */
Wife: Darling, you never told what you're working on
Programmer: It's because my actual project is classified...
Wife: What??? Are you saying you don't trust me?!?
Programmer: HUMPF... ok, I tell you...
15 minutes later (after a "for dummies" explanation)
Programmer: So, this is it... Got it?
Wife: Oh, no... But I don't care...

/* True story sent by bruno */
Boss: That form you made on site isn't working...
Programmer: Wait a minute... I'll fix it...
Programmer: And... It's done.
Boss: Alright, I'll see it...
Hours later...
Boss: Weird... When you told me that it's done, that form wasn't working yet... It started to work only a couple of hours later, after I press F5

/* True story sent by Ian Magalhães */
Wife: Wow! Did you create this site?
Programmer: Yeah!
Wife: And what's that logo at the bottom?
Programmer: It's designer's logo
Wife: So, who created the site, He or you?
Programmer: I programmed... He did the layout!
Wife: So, he created...

/* True story sent by Marcos Henrique */
Boss: What are you doing?
Programmer: Programming...
Boss: Great! come here and help me move a cabinet
Programmer: There's no one else to help you?
Boss: No, everyone else is working!

/* True story sent by Maxmiliano Franco Braga */
A.P.: Hey man, do you know that form you did?
Programmer: Yeah...
A.P.: Well, it's crashing on line 12. Could you...
Programmer: Okay, you can fix it! It's open source!

/* True story sent by Uilson */
Boss: We need better equipment
2 days later...
Boss: We have to modernize our equipment
1 month later...
Boss: We can't go on with these equipment...
2 years later...
Boss: We need better equipment... I've been saying it for the last two years... Get on it!
Programmer: But you're the one who buys the equipment
Boss: Well... On second thought, this equipment is good enough to what we're doing

Client: I need a software to calculate the numbers of lottery
Programmer: Oh, but it's impossible!
Client: No, it isn't! I have all the idea on my mind.
Programmer: Do you know the probability?
Client: Oh, yeah. I have some formulas on my mind... It's very simple...
Programmer: There are billions of combinations!
Client: I have the formulas. I only need someone to code it...
Programmer: Ok. If you want a program, I can code a program...
Client: Great. So I'll pay you with 10% of the prize!

Manager: I think you should drink less coffee
Programmer: Less coffee implies less productivity
Manager: But it can also give you gastritis
Programmer: No, it won't, because I already have
Manager: Ok. But too much coffee also makes your teeth yellow
Programmer: So there's no problem! My teeth never appear on these comics!

Programmer: Hey man, do you think it's possible that evolution theory and intelligent design be both true, at the same time?
A.P.: I don't know... Why?
Programmer: 'cause I'm sure that the way I am, the only way I've been created was by a perfect planning and design, by someone intelligent and organized...
Programmer: But I'm also convinced that some people must be a product of some atoms randomly combined...
Jack: Somebody called me?