real story;
string sender = "Marcelo Alexandre";
User: The system is perfect, but it needs just one more thing
Programmer: What?
User: Only a little button at the bottom
Programmer: Ok. A little button is easy...
User: Great... So when the user clicks on this button, he may upload his videos, also may see the videos of all other users, and he may like or dislike, everything like youtube does...
(Programmer chokes with coffee)
--
T-shirt: Anything else?

real story;
string sender = "@notsodeep";
Boss: Finally, after 8 months of development, the system is what we expected. Now I need you to turn it accessible online
Programmer: What?? But it wasn't designed this way. It was built to run only on desktop!
Boss: Ok. So you only have to recompile it as a website...
--
T-shirt: Coffee never lies

real story;
string sender = "Canez";
Boss: Do you have an estimate of when will you finish the project?
Programmer: I'll finish it till the end of next week
Boss: Ok, so pause this project and work on another project that is more urgent. So, when you finish that, you come back to the first and finish it till the end of next week
--
T-shirt: Ok, I'll finish it yesterday

real story;
string sender = "Canez";
Programmer: No, I can't work tuesday night...
Boss: Why can't you?
Programmer: I have postgraduate classes on tuesday
Boss: Are you taking postgraduate classes?
Boss: Didn't you know that this is a hard time on our company? You can't study now!
--
T-shirt: (A flux capacitor image)

real story;
string sender = "Edigley Dias da Silva";
User: I need a new system...
Programmer: Ok. Tell me what do you want and I'll estimate the costs
User: Well... Do you know... Our company has no money to pay now...
Programmer: Great! I also have no time... So I don't write a software to you and it's alright!
--
T-shirt: Will code for food

real story;
string sender = "Rui Santos";
Boss: How much time do you need to deliver that system?
Programmer: At least 4 months
Boss: I need you do it in 2...
Programmer: Great! So you already know that it will be 2 months delayed...
--
T-shirt: I <3 CODE

real story;
string sender = "icarovts";
User: Your system still doesn't work according the new rule that we implemented on the company...
Programmer: Well, every new rule must be evaluated to be implemented in the system
User: DAMN! DO YOU EXPECT WE WARN YOU ABOUT EVERY NEW RULE WE IMPLEMENT HERE??
(Programmer chokes with coffee)
--
T-shirt: (Chapolim shirt)

real story;
string sender = "eu_franco";
Boss: I need a list of all customers registered on the system for tomorrow morning
Programmer: Ok
Boss: Could you put their name and address in the list?
Programmer: Is there their address in the database?
Boss: No, but it might have a way...
(Programmer's glass breaks)
--
T-shirt: Mister M

real story;
string sender = "Walter Azevedo";
User: I think I wish a face recognition module on login...
Programmer: Wow, wait a while! It's too complex to develop now. We would have to postpone the deadline
User: No, it's not complex to do! The hard way is to verify if the face is the same as the one in the database. But you could verify if the face is different of the faces in database... So it's easier!
(Programmer chokes with coffee)
--
T-shirt: Damn you Hollywood

real story;
string sender = "@tberne";
Programmer: So, what do you expect from your site?
User: I would like a fluffy site!
Programmer: Uh... And what do you mean by "fluffy"?
User: Well... A fluffy site, like... cottony!
(Programmer chokes with coffee)
--
T-shirt: Now I've seen everything!