real story;
string sender = "Jorge Bubba";
Dev: Alonso, I need you to correct the API return. In addition to the error code, put a boolean to confirm whether the compensation is done or not...
Alonso: okay!
(Some time later...)
Dev: So, did you finish?
Alonso: Yes, it's done! I even created a double confirmation!
Dev: Double confirmation? What's this?
Code: {
isSuccess: true,
isFailure: false
}
Dev: PLOP!
--
T-shirt: !false or !!true


string sender = "xvs950";
Boss: From now on we will adopt a hybrid work model. Part of the week you will do remote work and part in the office...
A.P.: Cool!
Dev Man: Nice!
Dev Woman: How many days we will do home office?
Boss: 2 days! You'll be free to work anywhere in the world 2 days every week...
Boss: On the other 5 you will work here in the office!
All Dev: PLOP!
--
T-shirt: got excited too early

real story;
string sender = "luuhknot";
Dev: Jimmy, I'll create another branch to develop this new feature...
Jimmy: Don't need it, just use the "dev" branch
Dev: But it's something new... I don't want to mix with the other changes there
Jimmy: Oh, wait a minute...
Jimmy: Ready! I just merged everything there to production, now the branch is free to use...
Dev: PLOP!
--
T-shirt: git ignore

real story;
string sender = "Eduardo Luiz";
Dev: Alonso, check the source code, it is crashing on line 23...
Alonso: Ok, I'll see it...
Code: data = self._get_data()
Alonso: Oh, I got it! I already learned how to fix this kind of errors. I'll do it now!
Dev: Great!
Alonso: It's ready! Check it out...
Code:
23 try:
24 data = self._get_data()
25 except:
26 pass
Dev: PLOP!
--
T-shirt: Bug fixed!

real story;
string sender = "Gilmar Lopes";
User (on phone): Good morning, I'm having an issue with your system. I can't read the barcode using the collector
Dev: Weird... It works on my machine!
Dev: Could you, please, read the barcode for me? So I can test it here...
User: Ok...
User: Thin bar, thick bar, two thin bars, then another thick one...
Dev: PLOP!
--
T-shirt: Thank God that was not a qr code

real story;
string sender = "Guilherme";
Dev: So, Alonso, we have to develop the updates from our local system. Please, make a new branch on git, while I finish some features on the other project...
Alonso: Alright!
(More than 3 hours later...)
Dev: Wow, dude... I almost forgot... Did you create that new branch?
Alonso: It got a little abstract to me... So, I was going to ask... What is a branch?
Dev: PLOP!
--
T-shirt: Venha provar meu branch (untranslated because it's a brazilian music)

real story;
string sender = "Selma";
Dev (at phone): Hello, Internet Service Provider! Your system says that I used all my internet limit, but I know I didn't use it all yet!
Call center: Good morning. See: your Internet limit is 4 gigabytes, which means 34 megabytes. You already used 34,60 megabytes, therefore you exceeded the limit!
Dev: WHAAAT??
Dev: It doesn't even makes sen...
Call center: Look, madam, it happens because i'm talking about gigas on megas, so it works this way...
Dev: PLOP!
--
T-shirt: Arithmetic exception

real story;
string sender = "Vitor Amaral de Melo";
Dev: Alonso, get the form I sent you and write a validator to check the year the user type to not allow a wrong year!
Alonso: Ok!
(A time later...)
Code:
if ($row_year[0] != '1969' &&
$row_year[0] != '' &&
$row_year[0] != '0000' &&
$row_year[0] != '1916' &&
$row_year[0] != '0216' &&
$row_year[0] != '0215' &&
$row_year[0] != '0206' &&
$row_year[0] != '0162' &&
$row_year[0] >= 2017 &&
$row_year[0] <= 2019) {
Dev: PLOP!
Dev: Alonso! Please, do me a favor... Check down there and see if this is a real story...
--
T-shirt: waaaat

real story;
string sender = "@computeiro";
Boss: Did you make those important updates we talk last week?
Dev: Those updates that I said they were irrelevant?
Boss: I don't remember the details, but I know that you had to do it...
Dev: Don't you remember the details?
Dev: In this case, I did it!
Boss: Great!
--
T-shirt: Do not touch while updating

real story;
string sender = "Fabrício Olmo Aride";
A.P.: Dude, I had a dream last night that got me more tired at morning...
Programmer: Really? What did you dream?
A.P.: I don't remember it all... But, in my dream, when I would finish anything, something weird happened, so we had to start over from zero every time. Then it got to a looping, nothing going right, and repeating forever...
Programmer: Tell me, by chance did you dream you worked here?
A.P.: PLOP!
--
T-shirt: Deja vu is a glitch in the Matrix