real story;
string sender = "Stefano";
Boss: We have to create a website on 15 days!
Programmer: But it's a simple site, just html and css?
Boss: No. A complete one, with pictures too!
(Programmer's glass breaking)
--
T-shirt: 3. protect own existence

real story;
string sender = "João Pontes";
Boss: I just arrived from customer's office...
Programmer: What did he say?
Boss: Well, He's not happy. He told me that the prototype isn't reflecting the real features of the application
Programmer: But it's a prototype! It's expected to not have all features
Boss: Yes, and it's the reason why, from today, all of our prototypes will have to do inserts in the database
(Programmer's glass breaking)
--
T-shirt: 2. must obey orders

Batman v Superman == Batman Superman | Batman | Superman
Batman ^ Superman == Batman Superman
Batman xor Superman == Batman | Superman
~ Batman v Superman == Batman Superman | Superman | null
Batman v ~ Superman == Batman Superman | Batman | null
~ (Batman ^ Superman) == Superman | Batman | null
~ (Batman v Superman) == null

real story;
string sender;
sender = "edio";
Boss: The password must be encrypted to store it on database...
Programmer: Great! No problem!
Boss: Then it must have a copy of unencrypted password to send it by email...
Programmer: PLOP!
--
T-shirt: Why can't we store only the asterisks?

You might have super powers
(Flash picture)
You might have great ability
(Arrow picture)
You might be a super being from another planet
(Clark/Smallville and Supergirl pictures)
But without your hacker...
(Pictures of Cisco/Felicity/Chloe/Winn)
You would be seated and watching batman do all the job
(Batman picture)
Value your hacker!

real story;
string sender;
sender = "Robson Oliveira";
(Alonso talking to a partner)
Partner: Which operating system are you using?
Alonso: Which operating system? Wait a minute...
(Alonso turns to the Programmer)
Alonso: Which operating system am I using?
Programmer: PLOP!
--
T-shirt: I don't know, but it crashes

real story;
string sender;
sender = "Cyber Alex";
Programmer: So, this is how your site looks after we apply the new layout...
User: No, you have to change this! It doesn't have any red in our company, so it can't have anything red on the site
Programmer: What?? It doesn't have anything red on this site!
User: Yeah? And that red button with an "x" at top? Why can't you change to blue?
Programmer: PLOP!
--
T-shirt: That's a good story for a comic

real story;
string sender;
sender = "Eduardo Nicioli";
Programmer: Hi, we're waiting a call from a customer. Nobody called yet?
Secretary: No, just one call till now, but it was a mistaken... They were looking for some guy called webmaster...
Programmer: PLOP!
--
T-shirt: It had to be Alonso... oh, wait!

real story;
string sender;
sender = "André Lana";
Alonso: I still can't reproduce here the user's error...
Programmer: Ok, so we'll have to debug it on customer's office...
(A little later...)
Alonso: Ready, I took everything. Are we going now?
Programmer: PLOP!
--
T-shirt: I wonder if you were working with mainframes

real story;
string sender;
sender = "Luan";
Wife: Honey, I want a place to keep my files safe. I'm afraid to keep them on an external drive and it breaks...
Programmer: So, put them in the cloud...
Wife: The cloud?
Programmer: Yeah, in the internet...
Wife: Is there a cloud in the internet?
Programmer: PLOP!
--
T-shirt: ?