real story;
string sender = "Juliano Russo de Andrade";
User: When I ask a report for one client the system shows it with the name of another one...
Programmer: Please, see if this record has any relation with the other, or if they both are on the same record...
User: It seems they don't have any relation... But do you want I call them to ask if they know each other?
(Programmer's glasses breaking)
--
T-shirt: I hate phones

real story;
string sender = "André Rodrigues";
User: So, it seems that your system does all I need, but...
User: I need to know if the system does...
Boss: It does... For sure!
Boss: And if it can't do it, our programmer can!
(Programmer spits the coffee)
--
T-shirt: Missing you, UML

real story;
string sender = "Stefano";
Boss: We have to create a website on 15 days!
Programmer: But it's a simple site, just html and css?
Boss: No. A complete one, with pictures too!
(Programmer's glass breaking)
--
T-shirt: I love my mother...board

real story;
string sender = "Stefano";
Boss: We have to create a website on 15 days!
Programmer: But it's a simple site, just html and css?
Boss: No. A complete one, with pictures too!
(Programmer's glass breaking)
--
T-shirt: 3. protect own existence

real story;
string sender = "João Pontes";
Boss: I just arrived from customer's office...
Programmer: What did he say?
Boss: Well, He's not happy. He told me that the prototype isn't reflecting the real features of the application
Programmer: But it's a prototype! It's expected to not have all features
Boss: Yes, and it's the reason why, from today, all of our prototypes will have to do inserts in the database
(Programmer's glass breaking)
--
T-shirt: 2. must obey orders

Batman v Superman == Batman Superman | Batman | Superman
Batman ^ Superman == Batman Superman
Batman xor Superman == Batman | Superman
~ Batman v Superman == Batman Superman | Superman | null
Batman v ~ Superman == Batman Superman | Batman | null
~ (Batman ^ Superman) == Superman | Batman | null
~ (Batman v Superman) == null

real story;
string sender;
sender = "edio";
Boss: The password must be encrypted to store it on database...
Programmer: Great! No problem!
Boss: Then it must have a copy of unencrypted password to send it by email...
Programmer: PLOP!
--
T-shirt: Why can't we store only the asterisks?

You might have super powers
(Flash picture)
You might have great ability
(Arrow picture)
You might be a super being from another planet
(Clark/Smallville and Supergirl pictures)
But without your hacker...
(Pictures of Cisco/Felicity/Chloe/Winn)
You would be seated and watching batman do all the job
(Batman picture)
Value your hacker!

real story;
string sender;
sender = "Robson Oliveira";
(Alonso talking to a partner)
Partner: Which operating system are you using?
Alonso: Which operating system? Wait a minute...
(Alonso turns to the Programmer)
Alonso: Which operating system am I using?
Programmer: PLOP!
--
T-shirt: I don't know, but it crashes

real story;
string sender;
sender = "Cyber Alex";
Programmer: So, this is how your site looks after we apply the new layout...
User: No, you have to change this! It doesn't have any red in our company, so it can't have anything red on the site
Programmer: What?? It doesn't have anything red on this site!
User: Yeah? And that red button with an "x" at top? Why can't you change to blue?
Programmer: PLOP!
--
T-shirt: That's a good story for a comic