Friend: Which language is better: java or flash? Programmer: Uh? Friend: I want to learn a programming language, because 2 friends of mine want to join me on a new business, to develop an enterprise resource planning (ERP). It will make us rich! Programmer: Any of you know how to program? Friend: No.(…) leia mais
Programmer (thinking): These columns need some color... Boss: Try to put some color on that table Programmer (thinking): What color should I... Boss: Blue. There's no blue yet... Programmer (thinking): It got too dark... I need to... Boss: It's dark. Use a softer blue Programmer: Calm down! I'm still testing...(…) leia mais
Programmer: I just finished the Star Labs management systemBoss: Hmmm I think you could add some red thereProgrammer: I just finished the Democratic Republic of Libya websiteBoss: What about some red there?Programmer: I just finished the Greenpeace movement's management systemBoss: Put some red thereOriginal: Vermelho
* SOP = Spaghetti Oriented Programming Programmer (talking to A.P.): Man, I've never seen so many error messages from the compiler! Boss: So, is the program ready? We're on a deadline! Programmer: Wait... Just 2 minutes... (Coding...) 2 minutes later... Programmer: Alright! It's done! Boss: Great! A.P.(…) leia mais
Programmer: Hey, look at this program I wrote... I'll compile it nowComputer: poof!Programmer: Wait... Now it will workComputer: poof!Programmer: Now it will workComputer: poof!Programmer: Now it will workComputer: poof!5 hours later...Programmer: Now it will workComputer: poof!Original: Agora vai
A. P.: Man, I get mad with these ads... Ads should be more honest Programmer: If they were honest, they wouldn't be ads Programmer: Just imagine: "we deliver your system 2 months after deadline", or even "your system with more spaghetti than italy!"... or even worse: "Lowest price for your site, but made using ASP!(…) leia mais
Jack: You'll not believe... I erased all client data by mistake, I don't have abackup and the server can restore their backup only next week... I'm lost!Programmer: Well, it could be worse...Jack: Impossible! How could it be worse?Programmer: It could be me...
A. P.: Hey dude, let's get lunch?Programmer: Wait a minute, I'm in the zone...Computer: Error! Not a number!Programmer: Ok, let's get lunch!Original: Not a number
Boss: From now on, you'll not use left or inner join anymore in database queriesProgrammer: But what about the performance and...Boss: It doesn't matter! only simple joins... 'cause I had to fix a bug when you weren't here and it's hard to understand when you use "left join"Original: LEFT JOIN